Spitting Feathers

By Nigel Davies

The place where the Editor's 'ead explodes in the most spectacular fashion......

Rage-o-Meter

1 = ANGRY

2 = FURIOUS

3 = PSYCHOTIC

Spitting-Feathers

I never like having a pop at a portion of the Jack Army but just as it is sometimes right to criticise the club, which I love dearly, there are also instances where I feel I have to spit a few feathers at some fans.

Of course the danger of doing that is the very people I’m having a pop at are at this very moment reading this criticism and decide that the little baldy fat Editor is way out of line and they are never reading an issue of ATFV ever again.

If that happens then…c’est la vie…or as we say in Swansea: that’s life mush.

So what’s got me narked enough to risk the readership? Quite simply the rabid readiness to rant at Russell Martin, not so much over social media but from the Swansea.Com stands.

Upon his appointment on the eve of the season (yeah thanks Mr Chairman!) people were falling over themselves to lecture everyone around them (and I include myself in this) about the need to give the new manager time. 

“Patience” was not just a card game, it was the word of choice for Swans fans all too willing to see a new young, relatively inexperienced manager come in to a squad shorn of its best performers AND totally transform the style of play from Cooper’s negative shut up shop approach to something altogether easier on the eye.

And then we had our arses handed to us by a half decent Stoke side and the grumbling, the vitriol and the boos swirled around me in my East Stand seat.

Now do not get me wrong, I am in no way advocating that criticism, especially of the constructive type, is off limits for the next nine months – far from it!

I have some criticisms of the manager for myself so far – playing Liam Cullen in a wholly unsuitable role and a worrying tendency to demand passing football at all costs chief amongst them – but they can be aired over social media, on the forums and, for me, in these very pages.

What is out of order is sucking huge amounts of air into lungs and then expelling them in the time honoured raspberry noise of a loud boo.

The end of the Millwall game was another example as the second 0-0 stalemate in four days drew to a close with the boos ringing around the home stadium. I don’t pretend for a minute that I was satisfied or happy with the performance but I had no desire to boo the players off.

Things have even escalated with fans debating the poor performance of the team with ‘keeper Ben Hamer during the bloody game! Oh yes, the performance in that first half against Luton was nowhere near acceptable but lambasting the goalkeeper when he’s standing between the sticks trying to prevent the situation getting worse is going to achieve what exactly?? 

Please just remember the really weak hand that Russell Martin was dealt when he was appointed so late and the huge task of turning one of the most defensive and shot shy sides into the Championship into something more watchable.

For his part, Martin needs to remember that a determination to play a passing game is all very laudable but results still need to be chalked up and there are times when “putting yer foot through the ball” is a perfectly acceptable tactic!

By all means tweet about the team selection or the tactics or the subs that have been made, pick these elements apart and give an opinion…

…but when you are at the game practice what has been preached so much and have a bit of patience! 

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

I don’t know if you know this…but…Ronaldo has returned to Manchester United.

Yeah ok, you did know. How could you not, thanks to the nauseatingly over the top reporting by the English media?

As if the sports reporters at both Sky and the BBC weren’t bad enough, putting on their best “commentating on a royal wedding’ voices and putting extra emphasis on every second word in a way that would make even Eddie Butler blush, the major newspaper journalists descended into sycophancy overload.

Worst of the lot was Jason Burt, ‘Chief Football Correspondent for the Daily Telegraph’, who opined that the Saturday 3pm blackout on showing live fixtures should be scrapped – so that every football fan could get to watch Manchester United v Newcastle, a game in which Ronaldo made his second Red Devils debut.

Burt by name, berk by nature.

Listen pal, as football fans we can all appreciate a footballer’s ability, and there’s no denying that even at the ripe old age of 36 Ronaldo is still a fantastic player. 

But if you think, for one micro second, that I have any interest in abandoning the Swans just to simper over a Manchester United player then you really need to pull your head out of your own fetid backside and let it get out more often to take in the wider world of football.

It’s because of clowns like Jason Burt, fawning over the ‘Top Six’ and patronising just about everyone else, that those same clubs felt empowered enough to attempt their Super League Breakaway.

Burt may be a shallow simpering fan boy hanging on every word of the elite, but the majority of football fans have their own heroes and they are local ones.

So every time Ronaldo runs out for Ole Solskjaer’s side, the only Manchester United player I will have any thought for will be Ethan Laird as he lines up for the Swans.

2 spitting feathers
Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Barcelona President Joan Laporta announcing debts of 1.35 BILLION Euros; Paris St Germain turning down £189 Million for a player that will now walk away for FREE in 12 months; and over a BILLION POUNDS spent in the transfer window that just shut…

…good to see some financial sense and sanity in football in response to the disastrous effects of Covid-19 …

…oh wait! 

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

One final feather from me, and it is spat out over something entirely irrational and almost certainly unfairly…but I simply can’t look at Harry Wilson without the urge to spit out that feather like a Texan flobbing out a mouthful of chewing tobacco. Aside from the fact there’s something about the oddly chiselled face and rosy cheeks that sets my primeval lizard brain slithering, I just find him so totally overrated. 

I’m sure the lad does have talent – his scoring record in the Championship backs that up – but every time I’ve seen him play, whether for Wales or last season for Cardiff, he’s been mostly anonymous. Maybe if I’d watched him for Derby I’d know what the fuss is about…but even then I think those pink tinged cheekbones would be enough to let the lizard free inside my head!